


2Fast 2Ham: Ships and Guns

by IAmTheAnnihilator



Series: 2Fast 2Ham [4]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-11
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2019-04-21 08:25:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14280936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IAmTheAnnihilator/pseuds/IAmTheAnnihilator
Summary: In this explosive finale to the 2Fast 2Ham saga, Hamilton and Laurens escapeNew York but encounter new dangers out on the road





	2Fast 2Ham: Ships and Guns

Hamilton and Laurens couldn’t defuse the bomb so instead they fled new york. After they made it out of the bomb room they found a convenient-to-the-plot Recreational Vehicle so they loaded all their guns in it and took off down the road at 50MPH. It was a fun trip. After about 20 minutes they were out of gas. Luckily they were right next to a convenient-to-the-plot gas station with tons of gas cans so they gassed up the RV and continued down the road. After a few days of driving Laurens asked, “Where the hell are we going?” Hamilton pondered this question for a second, and then kept driving. Laurens sighed and sat back down in his seat. When they stopped for the night Laurens took inventory. They had 2 M16 rifles, 8 .55 revolvers, and a G78Z rocket launcher. All of this equipment had been stolen from the Mafia’s weapons locker. 

The next day was a beautiful day. As the sun was setting however, they were stopped on the road by a huge blockade of military vehicles. “COME OUT OF THE RV WITH YOUR HANDS UP!” A voice yelled. Laurens and Hamilton crouched under the dashboard, revolvers in their hands locked and loaded. Laurens peeked over the steering wheel. And then fell on the ground convulsing. “What the hell is wrong with you now?” Hamilton asked. “It’s him!” Laurens said and then fainted. Hamilton peeked over the dashboard and realized what Laurens had meant.  
They had been stopped by the Fighting Frenchmen, a vicious street gang led by notorious mass murderer Marquis de Lafayette.

“COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP OR WE WILL OBLITERATE YOU!” Lafayette yelled. Hamilton sighed. It was time to FIGHT. Putting one revolver in his holster and holding the other in his right hand, Hamilton had 16 shots left. It was time to show these turds what for.  
He jumps out the back of the RV and sneaks through the bushes to where the enemies are. Lafayette hadn’t noticed and was talking to his right hand man. This was the perfect chance. “It’s high noon!” Hamilton yelled as he took careful aim and fired his gun. It hit one of the Frenchmen in the head and he fell over. They had noticed him. Hamilton started running, shooting. One by one he eliminates Lafayette’s men. Gunshots ring out over the open road. He’s engaging them, escaping them, enraging them, he’s out! He goes back to the RV for more guns, he comes back with an M16, and ammo, and so the balance shifts. 

Lafayette knew that his hevy M60 arms rifle was not going to do much against the blur that was Hamilton so he pulled out his twin .357 magnums and went for the kill. He spots Hamilton across the road, blowing off heads. He commands two nearby soldiers to surround Hamilton. They do it and before Hamilton knows it Lafayette knocks him out with the barrel of his gun. Hamilton falls to the ground. The soldiers drag him back to Lafayette’s van and load him in the back. Lafayette’s soldier points his gun right at Hamilton. “Now you just wait right here, Hammy!” He says. Then his head explodes. It’s Laurens! He stands atop the RV as he guns down the rest of Lafayette’s men with his M16. “I may not live to see our glory!” He yells. “But I will reluctantly join the fight!” The M16 is out of ammo so he pulls out his pistol. Soon the only remaining people are Lafayette and his right hand man, Theodosia. Lafayette manages to shoot Laurens in the shoulder. Laurens falls off the RV and lands in a ditch. Theodosia shoves Hamilton into the van and slams the door. Hamilton pounds on the door but it’s no use. A few minutes later the door is open again. Theodosia aims her gun right at Hamilton and Lafayette holds Laurens, covered in mud. He points his gun right at Laurens’ head. “Time to die!” He says. He cocks the gun. “We are taking all your guns and your ammo and your food and the gas in your RV.” Theodosia grabs Hamilton and pulls him out of the van. “I mean it’s the least you can do right, after killing all of my soldiers?” They tie Laurens and Hamilton up outside the van and head to the RV. Minutes later they come back with the remaining guns, ammo and a full tank of gas. They load the equipment into the van and then they come back to Laurens and Hamilton. Theodosia gets into the van. “Come on, let’s go!” She yells at him. “Just you wait one more minute!” Lafayette calls back. He grabs the tied up Hamilton and throws him into the ditch. His face is mud covered. Then he does the same with Laurens. “Sweet dreams, Alex!” He calls. Then he draws his gun and blows Laurens’ head off. 

“NO!!!!!!!!!!!” Hamilton yells as Lafayette gets into the van and they drive off. He gets up and runs after the van screaming. The van drives off into the sunset and Hamilton never sees it again. “No, NO!” He sobs as he looks at Laurens’ bloodstained body. “NOOOO!!!” Now that his RV is gone and he has no food he starts to realize how screwed he is. He searches Laurens for anything useful but all he finds are two pints of Sam Adams. He wanders aimlessly down the road for a week or so. Day and night have no meaning anymore. 

After a long, long time he wanders across an old roadside bar. He walks in, tripping over himself. The bar is empty. Then a voice yells, “CUSTOMERS!” Hamilton looks toward the bar. And sighs. Would this ever end? “Hello there. Remember me?” It was King George. “After you defeated me I was in ruin. I was exiled for losing the war. I grabbed my trusty shotgun and left Britain. I then ended up here. Me. KING GEORGE! WORKING AT A GOSH DARN SALOON!” Hamilton chuckled a moment then choked up as King George took out his gun. “Well, I guess it payed off in the end. I knew you’d be back.” George raises the gun and fires it. He then calls the janitor to come clean up the guts.

THE END (For real this time)


End file.
